Communicating with Babies

I finished reading The Diaper Free Baby by Christine Gross-Loh a few months before my little one was born.  I knew that I wanted to try elimination communication with my baby but didn't know anyone that had started from birth, although my sister-in-law started at 12 weeks with my nephew.  My friends, for the most part, thought I was nuts - who'd ever heard of an infant using the potty?

Well, I started when Mac was one day old. Trying to catch poops and making little grunting noises to help pair the cue with the deed. By five weeks old most of her poops were in a little potty I would hold between my knees.  Now, at seven weeks, she uses the toilet for basically all her poops and a few pees a day. She lets me know quite loudly when she needs to be changed and we always give her the opportunity to potty when we take off her diaper.  Like all babies, those little gruning noises indicate when she needs to be pottied immeditely.

What I like most about this method is that it's up to the parent to decipher the baby's messages. They really are communicating their needs.

By far and away the biggest help in understanding Mac's needs was Priscilla Dunstan's lessons on the five cries a baby makes:

Neh - I'm hungry
Eh - Burp me please
Heh - I'm uncomfortable (something's too tight, my diaper's wet, I'm hot)
Owh - I'm so tired, help me sleep
Eairh - Lower gas pains

I watched her videos before Mac was born and was skeptical that all babies truly make these sounds.  Dunstan shows how the pre-cry is where these sounds are more easy to distinguish. At first I only heard "Eh!" but was thrilled that I knew when Mac needed a burp. She quickly aquired "Neh" and I was then able to feed and burp her on demand. At seven weeks I'm starting to hear "Owh" and "Heh" and I haven't heard "Eairh" yet - which I take to mean that I'm getting the gas up and out before it can cause her abdominal distress.

It has been such a relief from any anxiety about what she's trying to say with her cries.  There has only been two times in 7 weeks where I haven't known what she's saying and where she's cried uncontrollably.

I don't know about other babies but when I combine the idea that babies have words with elimination communication it's very exciting.  Mac does have those little grunty sounds which I guess could be spelled Unh.  This is her word for potty, specifically a poop.  I have yet to figure out when she's got to pee though.  Also, I don't hear "heh" for a wet diaper, just a generalized cry or fret.  It could be that I'm not paying attention to the sound though.  There's so much going on with my little one I feel  like I'm on a roller coaster of activity.

I was so preoccupied with pottying and verbal language I'd completely fogotten about signing but we started that today.  I'm signing "potty" and "milk" to start with.  I'll move to "more" after that.

It was a fluke that I heard about Dunstan and I'm wondering if everyone knows about her or if it's just a few who happened along some youtube videos.

My first few weeks as a new mother would have been dramatically different and much more stressful without Dunstan.  EC has helped me communicate with Mac with the added bonus of very few poopy diapers to clean (I use cloth) or poopy bums to wash.I owe a big thank you to Dunstan and Gross-Loh as well as to my mother who's the one who has been doing the laundry thus far.

What Matters Most

I'm sitting in front of my computer with my little one sleeping in a bassinet beside me, white noise is the music of choice at the moment. My mom is in our guest room and my husband is asleep in our room down the hall. How normal.  Finally.

I arrived in Calgary just four days ago after a two and a half day trip by train from Toronto to Edmonton and another half-day journey from Edmonton to Calgary.  I'm learning that things take much longer with an infant.  Anyhow, it was on the train that I began to reflect on how my life has changed over the last few years and how lucky I am that I have been surrounded by family and friends that I love - it's the people of course that matter the most.

My husband found a job just after we married last year in Calgary, clear across the country.  I didn't think it would be so rough to be apart.  After all, we'd spent the two years before our wedding living in different countries, so what's a few provinces?  Well, pregnancy changes everything.  My nine months of being pregnant and without my husband was difficult but we had a few trips together and my friends let me know that I wasn't alone.  What made it possible was my mother taking the time to come stay with me and help me prepare for the home birth we were planning...which turned into a long stay and help travelling across the country with a newborn so that I could finally live in the same home as my husband.

But I digress...

So on the train I was reading a book given to me by my aunt. It was Kids Are Worth It!: Raising Resilient, Responsible, Compassionate Kids by Barbara Coloroso - but I will get into the book on another post. As I was reading it struck me that I was reaching out in all directions trying to learn how to parent in a way that is meaningful to me, reading relevant books, watching youtube videos, talking to my friends, mother, and sister-in-law about various aspects of raising a child. Each interaction teaches me something and usually more than I was expecting. What's surprised me the most is the practical application of what I'm learning.

This blog is about my journey, what I learn along the way, and how it's applied in my life. I'll be looking at parenting practices, home life, relationships, elimination communication and just regular old fashioned communication and the people, books, videos and conversations that have inspired me.

I'd also love to know what's inspired you on these topics.